when did “being content” become dirty words?

average, enough, mediocre, ordinary, simple…apparently, all unacceptable

so, i had a conversation recently with a passionate young lady, classified as a millennial. it was a short & fascinating chat about social media presence, influence, change & mindset, namely mine, as someone much older.

i shared that i really couldn’t care less about number of followers & that i was content with allowing my account to grow organically without focusing on any particular quantitative goal. I’m pretty sure her intention was to change my mind on this, so i listened to her case for why setting goals in this area is a good thing.

content: pleased and satisfied with what one has or is

as an on-the-fence-gen xer/baby boomer, i didn’t experience the Internet & social media platforms growing up, they didn’t dictate our existence (i typically claim under conversation duress the gen x label as i refuse to embrace baby boomer because my mom was a baby boomer - she had me at the tender age of 16).

average: being about midway between extremes

although gen zers are the true social media natives/digital natives having never known a world without social media platforms, millennials are also considered social media natives/digital natives since they were the first generation to adopt social media as youth.

enough: equal to the demands or needs

this simply means we see the world through different social & cultural lenses. most of the time i forget there are a few decades between us.

mediocre: of medium or low quality.

all of this made me wonder: why and how did caring so much about followers or becoming an influencer on social media, become the gold standard, leaving the rest of us slugs to navigate through life as ordinary, average, and mediocre, at best?

ordinary: of common quality, rank, or ability; neither good nor bad

first of all, that’s a hell of a lot of pressure, which is why (i’ve concluded) so many young people are stressed out, constantly competing for attention online, obsessed with how many “followers” they have, how many “likes” their posts get, and how to “blow up” or “go viral.” life is played out on a, basically, 6 ½” x 3” smart phone screen. being stressed out is actually on the lighter end of the emotionally & mentally unhealthy continuum, as it can get much worse.

simple: free from complexity or difficulty

i get it, it’s become the primary path to getting eyes on you & what you’re creating, selling, promoting, etc. like my previous substack on the subject of legacy, there’s the pressure to do something that gets you noticed, that changes the world, always striving for that next - big hairy audacious goal (BHAG), stretch goal, north star goal, transformational goal - the idea is to keep improving yourself.

i don’t remember my parents or hearing stories about their parents or stories about their parents constantly striving for the next big goal, always obsessing about how to improve themselves. they were focussed on acquiring what they needed to navigate through each day.

life was simpler, yes & i wonder: is there something wrong with that?

i would argue that life under the canopy of constant goal setting is what’s at the heart of this persistent stress level, anxiety, depression & other mental & emotional challenges.

i partner, daily, with clients from teens to retirees & beyond & guess who shares more about experiencing anxiety, stress, overwhelm, burnout, imposter syndrome & pressure to perform at a high level, millennials and gen zers. don’t get me wrong, every generation experiences the above in some form, especially in today’s workplaces, it’s just human, but i’m spotlighting who most often expresses having heightened challenges in these areas.

shortly after this convo while catching up on email, the article, mediocrity is meaningful: the case for living an average life, dropped into my inbox. i saw the title, smiled & thought “how timely,” then i dived in. i like this article.

now, i’m contemplating what IS average, what IS enough, what IS mediocre, what IS simple, what IS ordinary, what IS being content, who gets to decide, why do they get to decide & what’s wrong with any or all of these concepts or ways of being?

i suppose this touched a nerve because, ultimately, this is a personal decision, one that needn’t be judged or critiqued by anyone who is only privy to what they observe & are privileged to know. we have no clue about anyone’s internal life accept our own & in many cases, that could probably be questioned.

so, isn’t it up to that person to decide what kind of life they want to create without being judged, ostracized, constantly questioned, or pressured to feel guilty or less than.

personally, i have an insatiable desire to learn, grow & shift, but that’s me. are we all wired in this way? apparently not. are the differences in how we’re wired always evident? no. do these differences mean something is wrong? no, it just means we’re wired differently.

It’s up to us as individuals to decide what kind of life we want to create & how we go about doing so.

and, it is possible to build a life full of happiness & purpose without wanting to change the world.

perhaps it’s just a matter of how we interpret all of this. is being average, content with what you have & who you are, deciding what’s enough, being OK with mediocrity, accepting the ordinary & living a simple life a bad thing, or just a choice we’re all empowered to make?

i don’t know about you, but i’m all about respecting each one’s choice to do with their gift of life whatever they choose. i’m talking about adults, here, with free will & agency. if you’re not harming anyone (which doesn’t include the mental & emotional discomfort some may experience while observing someone’s choices) you get to choose the life that’s the right fit for you.

going back to the article, i’m totally aligned with the perspective it takes, “we’re offering a different perspective on the concept — the idea that your impact on others and your value to the world can be exceptional even if they don’t involve hitting high societal benchmarks.”

it’s about freeing yourself from comparison & the opinions & judgements of others. your value is not up for debate; you have nothing to prove to anyone.

“an average life can still be a magnificent one.” this seems to be in the eye of the beholder, eh?

just my scribbles in the margins . . .